divorcing without a prenup  may the court have mercy on our souls assets

so you decided to get a divorce. it is an emotional time for you and it can’t be easy. life as you knew them are  gone and a new life are ahead. if you have children the situation is even worse. but wait more bad news are ahead.

prenup - bad news

you see, you are no longer in control of your life. nop. so who is in control? who decides? yep – the court decides.

the court gets to decide how long and how often you would see your kids, how much you need to pay your former wife/husband. and it decides what you will get from the material property.

in this article, I won’t discuss child custody because it is one of the things you can’t put on the prenup but I will talk about property and alimony.

divorcing without a prenup – the state

you might be surprised to hear that the way property is divided depend on the state you live at. does your state use the equitable distribution or the Community property? wait you don’t know?! I am suggesting you go and find out. for instance, if you live in California you will get half no matter what. it doesn’t matter if you worked your ass off building a business and your wife spend the days watching soaps and burning food, she still gets half of everything. and the judge can be very sympathetic and understanding with you but he can do shit. why? because in California, they use the Community property.

your state uses the  equitable distribution? the court might decide that by raising  your children and maintaining the house she contributed so much to your business that she entitled up to  two-thirds of the everything.

this is not all. not even close.

if your state uses community property you are in for a special treat. when you get divorced you do not only get half property or half of the entire assets, you also get half of the debt. say it out loud – half the debts. do you understand?

prenup - ex wife car

your spouse took a big fat loan to buy himself a sexy red car. you better hope he can pay for it because by the law, in community property you are liable for the debt. you just split from that person, you can’t stand the site of him but you need to pay for that beautiful car he is driving!

divorcing without a prenup – the judge

until now I talked about you dependence upon rules and regulations but it is not all. what about people? yes, people. your faith is in the hand of people. who? lawyers for example. who’s lawyer is better at his job? yours? your ex’s lawyers? who knows…. nevertheless this fact can determine the outcome of your divorce. bad lawyer and you will spend your days riding your bike to work.

but there is a person that is much more in charge of your future than a lawyer. you don’t know him yet maybe he is just a regular person now but in the future, if god forbid you will get divorced this person would become next to god for you. I am talking of course, about his lordship, the honorable judge what’s his name.

prenup - judge

ho yes. you do not want to get on the wrong side of this dude. this guy make is living from deciding if guys like you will get to keep some of their salaries or not. he gets the power, yes he does. well, of course, I am joking a bit, nut just a bit. I am sure that most judges are grat guys that overcome their prejudice or personal opinion and try to judge fairly according to the principles of the law. but unfortunately, he is only human. and he is making decisions in tricky grey zone matters.

not every piece of property value is easily calculated. this useless antic that  was lying collecting dust in the basement how much is it really worth?

this ring your grandma gave you for the engagement has sentimental value.

I will give you another example. if, for instance, you own a little family business.

what happens when you get a divorce? what part of the business belongs to your spouse? and what  happens if you can’t afford to buy her out?  will you sell the business?

do you like to play the stock market? there is a problem see, calculating the stock worth. and what will happen if it worth one thing at the divorce and another when you need to actually sell and divide it?

all of these matters call for a decision, and who makes the decision? right you are, the judge. the judge uses his own logic and his own experience  and sometimes he relies on experts opinion on the matter he that are not in his expertise. all those strangers are responsible for your future. this is not mathematic, different decisions can be made in different courts. the actual judge and court you divorcing in as a great impact on the rest of your life.

divorcing without a prenup – the ex

there is a saying – you know who you marry but you don’t know who you are divorcing from.

see your sweet little fiancee? you can’t believe she will even hurt a fly, but let me tell you a secret – if you ever going to divorce her she will instantly turn into a professional commando fighter with a knife between her teeth wearing a bandana. bloodthirsty and mean.

of course, she could stay sweet… it all a mystery  she could turn your life to hell or she can make it easy for you. she can fight every little clause in the contract, or can help speeding thigs up. she can be spiteful and insist she gets your grandma ring or she can be generous and kind. nobody knows. even she doesn’t know how she will behave in a case of a divorce.

divorcing without a prenup – what can you do?

well – get a prenuptial agreement of course…

this article isn’t about persuading you to cancel the wedding. no no no. I am a happily married man and I think that good marriage is the best thing in the all wide world. I think, however, that in order to make a good marriage that will last long, maybe forever, you should be protected. a prenup can take a lot out of your mind. you should not put your future in the hands of courts and strangers. there is a much better solution. a prenup would protect you in advanced. you and you’re soon to be wife can decide everything before the marriage when you two are in love and communicating with each other nice and lovingly. you two should sit together over a nice glass of wine and make some decisions. then you should find a good lawyer you trust and draw a prenuptial agreement that will protect both of you in a case of thigs go sour. or you can make a prenup easily online here.

best of luck!

Are you not persuaded yet? try our great prenup pros and cons list

is there any terms that you are not familiar with? try our prenup terms definitions

on prenup meaning you can read here