You don’t understand how it went that way. All you have done is ask your baby to sign a prenup. Why is it such a big deal? Why is she in such a shock? Prenuptial agreements are quite popular right now doesn’t she know it? you really don’t understand.
Don’t worry I will explain. Not only that, I will also give advice on what to do. Hang on there 😉 and keep reading.
The first thing to understand is there is a great depth of misunderstanding between you two. You were saying “honey I want us to sign a prenup so we can put the financial business on the side and focus on building a life together…”
What she (or he) heard was “I don’t trust you. I don’t think we will be together forever and I want to prepare for the moment we get separated…”
It is the difference between practical and emotional, the difference between the conversation on money and finance and conversation on feelings and emotions.
Until you start speaking the same languish the tears will not stop running.
this thing happens a lot in relationships: the two parties speak different languish and no one understands the other one. A small gap caused by a little misunderstanding grows and suddenly there is a big fight and sometimes the whole relationship falls apart.
You should stop the misunderstanding right there when it is still small.
You must realize that right then and their emotions got hurt, there is no use explaining the rationale of a prenup. Instead, you need to hug her and show her you love her. Don’t be shy; it is the time for mushy pushy. Soften her up. Tell her how you care for her. And that you didn’t want to upset her. You know the drill (you know the drill right?!)
After she calms down you can start talking about the practical side again. You should make a bridge from your world to her world. Start by speaking her languish and slowly one step at a time pull her to your side… explain to her that you by no means you are planning to leave her. Tel her how much you love her and how much you are looking forward to spending your life with her.
Now let her calm down a bit and you and I will do some thinking 😉 . We should decide now if you really serious about the prenuptial agreement. I don’t mean to pry but do you really want it? Do you really need it?
The reason I ask is that many times where there is a prenup talk, we find out there is some third party involved. Some worried parents or over enthusiastic lawyer or envious friends. It that is the case you should do your own thinking. Don’t let anyone think for you (except maybe me ). Take a piece of paper and make yourself a nice pros and cons list. Does your financial situation really call for a prenup? Do you really need it? After you done that make a decision whether you are going through with and it or not. If not – shame on you for making your love cry for nothing 😀 . you should buy her something nice. If you decided to go through keep reading.
Ok, you are reading so I guess you have a nice sheet of paper with all them prenuptial agreement pros and cons. Good. I suppose she also calmed down by now and we can talk some sense into her.
I also hope you have your lawyer draw up the actual prenuptial agreement. What?! Didn’t you? You’re in luck because you can make a prenup yourself with much less money and efforts right here!
It is your task now, to explain to her why you need the prenup. You should do it delicately and Lovingly. Be soft and loving not hard and stubborn.